Customer service, how can I help?

Have you had this experience? You know when you need help and you reluctantly decide you will search endlessly on a company website to unearth customer service’s phone number. Then you call and you are greeted with the monotone “Hi this is Sasha how can I help you?”  Or better yet “Can you please give me your account number? Last 4 digits of your SS? The name of your last pet?” Immediately you know this call will not bring you any joy, because Sasha has none.  So how do you crack the code? How do you get Sasha to let loose and be helpful, generous and at least pretend she cares?

Basically, Customer Service spends its whole day taking care of annoyed, disgruntled people. So when Sasha is not friendly, I address it head on with this classic line: “Sasha, it sounds like you are having a tough day.  Tell me, what is the most annoying thing you have had to deal with today?” Now don’t worry, she can’t go on too long, She’s being recorded and measured on her expeditious processing of you.  Sasha will either immediately deny she is having a bad day and start over compensating or she will tell you her woes quickly and then get down to business.  Give it a try and let me know how it goes (that is, if you can unearth the customer service number).